Happy Tuesday, everyone!
Today, I want to share something about my relationship with Jonah and Lea, two of the people who never failed to inspire me. Actually, we we're not close when we were still young. Mas madalas pa nga kami mag-away noon kesa magkwentuhan about something. Things suddenly changed when our mother died on March 26, 2002. Since then, I promised to them that I will take care of them. I also told them na whenever they have a problem, they can always depend on me.
Medyo mahirap talaga pag gumawa ka ng promise habang malungkot ka. Sabi nga ng friend ko noon, "Don't make decision when you're angry, and don't make promise if you're sad." Totoong-totoo yun. Sa una, nahirapan talaga akong panindigan ang promise ko to take care of them and to be always the one na pwede nilang asahan when they have a problem. There are times when I got angry or suddenly became mad at them for some reasons. Parang sila yung napagbubuntunan ko ng lahat ng pressures na napi-feel ko.
One time, parang sinumbatan ako ni Lea. Sabi niya, "Akala ko ba pwede ka naming asahan anytime? Nagpromise ka na we will always take care of each other pero bakit ganyan ka? Sabi mo, ikaw ang pwede naming asahan ngayong wala na si Mama?" I also remembered Jonah saying, "Promise-promise ka diyan, di mo naman pala kayang tuparin!" All those words touched my heart. Since then, I promised to myself to be more responsible. Naisip ko din na dapat panindigan ko ang promise ko sa kanila. Besides, it was my fault naman talaga.
By the way, we have created a group when I was high school, during the time we're staying at Marigondon. We called ourselves as MarJoLe Members or MarJoLe Sisters. Obviously, name namin yun, hehe. We don't care if some people would criticize us for being so mean - kasi di namin isinama ang three other sisters namin. Well, we just don't feel na isama sila kasi there are times when they can't understand how we feel. Besides, they don't know and don't care sa mga corny stuffs like that - creating corny group. Also, we (MarJoLe) have something in common: lahat kami isip-bata. I know that. But I'm proud ganun ako. At least, yun ang naging way para maging close kami. In fairness, may sense naman ang pagiging isip-bata namin. I'm not saying na dini-disregard ko yung three ates namin. Ang akin lang, group namin 'tong tatlo. May group naman kami na kasama silang three, yung Six Marias, hehe.
Though hindi kasama ang three elder sisters namin, I want them to know the we care for them. We love them just like how we love each member of MarJoLe. Kumbaga, ang pinagkaiba lang, corny kami. Naiisip ko nga minsan, siguro kung totoo si Doraemon, kung nag-i-exist siya sa Earth, he will never let some things happen. Siguro, gagawin niya kaming close - kaming lahat na Six Marias. Up to now, isa pa rin sa greatest dreams ko ang maging close kaming anim. Sana mawala na ang lahat ng conflicts with each other. Sana maging mas understanding na ang bawat isa sa'min. Sana mawala na yung mga bitterness. Sana. Sana. Sana.
I don't know the exact time or day when we became really close. Ganun naman ata talaga ang tao. Di naman kasi natin lagi nilalagay sa diary kung kelan natin naging close ang isang tao. Minsan kasi, simpleng pag-uusap nyo ang magiging way para maging close kayo ng isang tao. Who knows naman na ang pag-uusap pala na yun ang pinaka-start ng closeness nyo?
As of now, I am still happy kahit madami pa ring nai-encounter na problema. I feel proud na may mga taong masaya na naging part ako ng buhay nila. I am so happy for having two sisters who always make me feel important, needed, and loved. Before, si Mama lang ang inspiration ko. When she died, I felt like I was abandoned and unloved. But then, I learned there are still people who cared about me. So, now... I am tin..troubled, but inspired to live life to the fullest.