Monday, March 22, 2010

Do you know how to pamper someone who hates you?

Actually, I originally posted this question to Yahoo! Answers. But then, I am not yet satisfied with the answer I got (there's only one who tried to advice me). So there, I am reposting this to get more response. This time, wala nang expiration ang question na 'to. Sa Yahoo! Answers kasi, five days lang ang timeline ng every question. After noon, close na siya.

Please be patient with my explanation.

I and my elder sister are not very close since we were young, but I know many things about her, including her gap with our father and her failed relationships. She and out father had a major fight after Papa decided not to send her in college due to financial problem and some other reasons.

(My ate sister lost the money that is supposed to be paid for the application form in entrance exam where she is set to take college. My father got furious and recalled my sisters mistakes in the past. According to Papa, my sister should stop studying because when she was in first year high school, she had too many absences without valid reasons. My father is afraid my sister would commit the same mistake. So, when she lost the money, Papa thought that she is incapable of handling cash wisely. Then, he decided to let my sister work instead of studying. My sister was so hurt and I don't know if she expressed her willingness to pursue his studies, I never had the chance to ask.)

When my sister worked somewhere in Laguna, she had relationship with two or three men, which all end to nothing. I want to extend my sympathy for her loss and being brokenhearted, but I don't know how to approach her. When she and bf (let's call him Mr. M) broke up, my sister tried to commit suicide, but my father was there - she went to Laguna to comfort my sister.

After that, everything seems alright. Last December, my sister got married with her first boyfriend. At present, she is already preggy with their first baby.

I thought, we're okay - but we're not. We've been changing text messages on the first week of February. Then, on Valentine's Day, she suddenly texted me, saying bad words like "yawa ka," I later found out means "i hate you, you're devil." She kept on cursing me. She said I must be thankful for her kindness. She said she still managed to help me even if she and Papa are not okay. That's her choice, right? And as far as I know, I did nothing wrong to her.

I think she has mental problem. I think she had a great conflict with her husband, but I have no proof. How can comfort her even if it seems she hates me?

Thanks for spending time, for reading and answering my question. May God bless us all.

P.S. Greengo, answered : "Maybe she has psychological problems and needs some counseling. Maybe you can try to encourage her to see a doctor. Just send her encouraging notes, and be positive. Always notice when she does something good, to give her more confidence. You can't change people, just support them the best you can."

Then, my friend commented : "Don't take it seriously when you sister said those words. Maybe it was your sister's way of "paglalambing" but she didn't mean it. "If Someone Throws you a Rock, Throw him a Bread instead". Try to be more considerate with your sister! Just understand her! Give her encouraging words and hope."

Well, I think, I have already done my part. As I explained to him (to my friend), I already did my best to please her, to understand her, but didn't work. So, what do you think? Please leave your answers below... Thank you very much.


Anonymous said...

As you said, your sister is currently pregnant. Pregnant women usually produce too much hormones that cause depression and ill feelings. The production of this certain hormones usually doubles after birth, which causes post-partum depression. This means that she might get more depressed after her birth so beware.

Being the one who has the clearer mind, it is best if you'll just understand her situation... Just like what your friend said, (gari dae aq friend. hehe..) "if someone throws a rock at you, throw him a bread instead." I'm sure your sister will see your kindness at the long run of your relationship with her. ;)

Hope this helps.. Eisha here. ;)

tin-tin said...

Hehe...actually, nagkunwari na naman akong walang nareceive na txt sa kanya..tinext ko sya last week, nangumusta ako..guess what she said? Gosh..nagreply sya khpon..aba, parang wlang ngyari..cge na naman ang kwento about sa pamangkin namin. Hay, grabe talaga nhe..naloloka ako pag tntxt aq ng ate kong yun..nway, tnx..mwah mwah